a bonding

I'm going to be insanely busy this week

Mom and Dad came in to hang out with Em -- otherwise she would have had a week entirely alone -- not good

I sent the three of them off to Home Depot for new flowers -- and they found some lunch and introduced Em to Mexican food (which she loved!)

The alone time did the trick -- and her family just got a bit bigger

very nice

The new flowers are amazing looking -- and I'm off to a week of meetings -- and coming home to sleep 5 hours and do it again and again

nifty

exhausted

Mom and Dad are here -- we're hanging out this weekend and they'll be here for Em while I'm at the conference for work this week.

I'm staying at the house -- but will be spending so many hours driving back and forth to the conference that it will be as if no one was here without them

I'm so grateful they could do this

If we were further along she might have been able to hang out with friends

Em slept in -- I got up early and did some chores -- went to the store and M & D got here in time for lunch -- we ran errands and finally got Em a phone

finally

We had a fun venture to Sam Moon -- shopping paradise where I got a Betty Boop handbag and Em got a cute new watch

dullsville for my 3 readers I know

but some days will be dull
routine

this is life

some days we get up
eat some food
do some laundry
spend some money
go home
eat again

and sleep

I guess that describes most days

and Thank God most days are like that -- adventure is best in small doses.

A nice visit

Curt came over to have dinner with us and meet Em.

We hung out -- worked on some Algebra II -- ate dinner.

She gave him a gift -- it's a keychain with a symbol on it -- it's supposed to be good for his ankles and improve his mettle

He put it right on his key ring

He gave me a nice boost of confidence that I'm on the right track with somethings and need to stay the course

and then we packed him off.

Em wants me to teach her how to make spaghetti -- but I wonder if she means the kind that I get out of a jar - or the homemade kind that I make.

She loved the breadsticks I made -- which came out of a tube (pizza dough I cut in strips and sprinkled with a tiny bit of salt.

I learned my Mongolian -- and we had fun trying to gross each other out with different foods -- a good time was had by all.

BTW -- I have her agreement to try crawdads when they are in season -- there will be photos of that!

Good Day (mostly because we've left the homework for another night!)

Roadblocks

I keep reminding myself that the early days will be the hardest.

School is very frustrating for Em -- it's such a new world -- and nothing makes that much sense.

US History remains the worst. I am encouraging her to stick it out -- because it's a required class. She cannot drop this class -- and she just needs to hang in there. I think her instinct is to give up because she spends an hour in there not understanding one single word.

Algebra -- she's done this before -- I think she just needs to work out the terms -- once she figures out what the Mongolian terms are for domain and range I think math will go ok...

German -- she seems to think this isn't that big of a deal. I'm going to force her to practice vocabulary just so she can say the words outloud.

English -- we'll see. She had to write a short essay today. Her teacher encouraged her to write it in Mongolian and translate it into English....which frankly I think is crappy advice -- I think that part of this experience is to start to learn to THINK in English and STOP translating. But hey -- I'm not the teacher -- and she may not be at that stage quite yet.

Chemistry -- so far -- no homework -- this is the teacher she thinks will be MEAN.

Art and Dance -- no information so far about those classes --

I think she's pretty discouraged -- and I'm a little discouraged too. I'm worried that I won't be able to support her the way I need to.

we're going to have these ups and downs -- I know that.

sigh

I know that.

US History sucks

She's got a mumbler in this class

and on top of it -- the reading for the class is very difficult.

He sent her home with a long essay on the Homestead Act that clearly was written by someone with a huge Thesaurus.

and this class is required.

****************
On a separate note -- I am also doing poorly with Mongolian == surguul is the word for school -- and there's this growly g sound that I a cannot make and requires one to make sounds you've never even heard.

Mongolian is very very hard.

American Name

Miss M has chosen an American name!

Her Mongolian name is very difficult for Americans to say -- and she has decided that she is now just Em or Emily.

This will make it easier for her at school with her teachers and her classmates -- and it's a big step up for her to assimilate.

Also - implementation of the rules is today -- she's monitoring her internet time and it breaking her one hour up into smaller pieces -- very smart.

She's highly motivated to get that internet time so I think that she will join the club and do what she has to do to get that Internet time back

Whatever it takes to get her with the program.

I even have her out watching TV with me tonight -- again -- a big victory -- she's not hiding away!!!!

School went OK today -- she found all her classes and she got her new schedule -- and she has declared (most) of her teachers to be nice. We'll see how it goes when they are actually giving her assignments.

So far

no books

no homework

maybe tomrrow.

Em and I are hanging out -- and I am very

very

very

happy.

BTW -- learning the Mongolian words is going to be very very hard! I cannot write them phoenetically -- as there are sounds that do not exist in English -- but it's making us laugh and laugh and laugh

G

Big improvement!

Ok -- as you'll remember -- I failed to follow the advice of the exchange student people and discuss rules from day one

but I've made a recovery!!!!

Oh -- wait! -- here's some funniness from this morning first...

I made a huge breakfast for the managers at work today -- Breakfast burritos for all -- 3# of bacon -- 2 dozen eggs -- and 2 dozen homemade muffins

I'm a nice HR manager sometimes....

I set off the smoke alarm and asked Miss M to open the doors to vent out the smoke. I told her to get some eggs and bacon and (I kid you not)

she had 9 slices of bacon

I made her put some back -- Jeez - that kid can EAT!

While we were sitting there we noticed a HUGE spider on the rug -- about the side of a coaster

DANG -- never a man around when you need him - after some girly squealing (her) and the untimely death of the spider via flip flop (I think it was only stunned) -- I chucked it in the yard

I'm never sleeping again-- maybe I'll remarry -- just for THAT!

**********************

After dinner -- we sat down with some paper-- we each wrote out the rules as we decided them.

Curfew
Dating
School work
School activities

but one tough one remained -- INTERNET

She learned a new word today - NEGOTIATE

I offered 1 hour of social internet per day

But we settled on 2 -- IF -- she has all her homework done - AND she joins a social club at school

DEAL!

We even shook on it.

I'm very pleased -- and feel like we have a new start!

PS
We added one rule at the end that she loved -- EVERY DAY - I must learn one Mongolian word -- and she may test me on them

I'm very excited -- SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!!!!

Sleepover -- Night 2

Miss J stayed again

The remake of Fame was not enough to keep either of them engaged tonight.

Miss J conked out early and Miss was not far behind her.

They had a blast at the pool today

Miss M needs to learn to swim -- but there's time for that.

This morning -- they got up at a reasonable hour and pretended to like the blueberry pancake I made --

We headed off for some school supply shopping. Miss M go a book bag at Target and asked where the mirror was......

:)

adorable

She instead made Miss J put it on so she could decide if it was cool enough.

Ok -- on a serious note

I fucked up.

I felt bad about laying down the rules and it was a mistake. She is spending too much time isolated in her room -- she's even shyer than I am -- and I'm going to have to FORCE her to socialized.

Being anti-social is a reason for the AC to intervene and put them on probation......we can't have that. Big Brother must be kept at bay.

We talked today

Me: Vacation ends tomorrow
Her: Yes -- last day
Me: Tomorrow we will sit down and go over the school time rules- study time -- internet time

She seemed to expect this

We also talked about spending more time with me -- even if it is watching US TV -- HEARING English will help her.

We WILL make this work.

Rock Paper Scissors

When I woke up today -- there was no sign of life

I could tell that they were up late -- 1/2 the crate of clementine oranges was gone.

I was starving -- and had planned on pancakes -- but as the hours ticked away -- I gave up on that.

I fried up some bacon and ate my share leaving some for the girls. Finally I wrote a note for the girls and put it on the TV

I got my haircut -- and went to the store -- and made my friend Jill's crockpot pulled pork recipe (it's in the crock pot) for tomorrow night

and they slept on and on

Finally -- a sign of life!

they emerged -- groggy -- crabby -- hungry

Miss M just waved at Miss J and I and went directly into the bathroom -- showered and emerged cleaner but no less groggy.

I kept my distance.

Today -- I asked Miss M if she wants Miss J to stay another night -- she said "Yes!"

So I said -- "good -- you should ask her" -- She said, "No, YOU ask her" I said -- do you want to do 'rock paper scissors?'

apparently they also have this in Mongolia -- only I can't pronounce it (more giggles at my attempt)

I won

(Ha!)

The jury is still out -- the shy Miss M has not yet asked....stay tuned...

Sleepover

I feel bad for Miss M and Miss J -- I drug them all over town after we picked up Miss J -- we had to get movies and junk at the store.

Pizza
Chile and Lime chips
Popcorn
Skittles
Starburst
Mango sorbet
soda

they're very quiet
and very polite

but they have something important in common

they are strangers in a strange land.

I wish I were hosting 2 students -- having someone to hang out with would be nice for Miss M -- I told her today that some kids still need families -- she said she could share her room

She's lonely

I can't wait for school to start

Balanced

Crappy horrible awful day at work

Total beating

But then I came home to my lonely girl -- happy to see me -- and hungry (as always!)

I made grilled chicken salad and mango for dessert

Miss M being in the house is making me healthier-- I am making lunch each day and my house is filled with fruit!

Miss M's English is growing daily -- which is awesome to see (uh hear) -- today she was describing photos of her family and teaching me words in Mongolian -- She laughs at my pronunciation -- I must sound very funny

Ok -- short post today -- tomorrow is the much anticipated sleepover

pray for me!

Workaholic

I feel like my work life is taking over

and it's not my imagination

really

its not

I was at work for 13 hours today

It will get better -- I'm just a little over committed right now at work

Home is going well

Miss M had an awesome day --the girls had a great time -- and can't wait for Friday's sleepover

Miss M's friend (Miss J) is in a bind.

Her exchange program put her in the wrong school -- and there's no bus service

none

and her host mom just got word that there's no chance she will get into that school

That's a disaster

Her host Mom is a single mom who works nights -- she can't drive her to school each day and pick her up.

I am so damn lucky

We're home -- and bofh of us are tired -- but it was a good day

Shit Mom

Today was my first day back to work -- and I feel bad that she just got here and I abandoned her.

Ok -- Ok -- not abandoned-- I mean -- I spent tons of time by myself at that age -- but she hasn't had any time to make friends yet.

I gave her all my numbers and instructions on how to call if there's a fire....and left her to her own devices

Work was insane

hardly a minute to think about Miss M

I got home and she was fine

no fire

also -- the chicken I hoped to make for dinner was still frozen

shit

Off to Sonny Bryan's

She claims to like BBQ -- we'll see if she ever asks for it again (that will be the test)

However, I have worked to correct my shit Mom status

Tomorrow -- she will be picked up by one of the other exchange student's mom -- and Friday

drumroll

there will be

a

sleepover

here

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't planned a sleepover since the 80's -- think I should buy a bunch of blue eyeshadow

you can never have too much blue eyeshadow.

New Student Tour

(So there's a part of me that feels some sort of need to apologize for posting over and over in one day -- but then again A) the 3 people who read this don't much care and B) -- this is a very very newsy time -- it'll taper off I'm sure)

Tonight there was a new student tour -- really designed for the Freshman class -- (there are 550 Freshman at this school) but open to anyone who's new this year. There were about 20 Sophmores and Juniors (this school is in it's second year -- so no seniors there yet)

When we got there it was mayhem

Drum team was drumming away and the drill team was cheering with frozen smiles on their faces as we came in

We were greeted by volunteers who directed us to go stand in a line beginning with our last name to get a badge that would identify the student

We stood forever in a line to be told we were in the wrong line and Juniors were at the end (an inside secret -- as this was not marked in any way)

Students went one direction -- parents the other. Miss M looked dismayed -- but with a little push and a "I'll meet you RIGHT HERE at 9" convinced her. I know that deer in the headlights look will go away -- and I'm so glad she got to be here with 500 kids before she meets the 1500 others (gulp!)

I can't tell you much about what her time was like -- she came back dazed -- overwhelmed and shellshocked. I'm not sure she will regain the power of speech tonight

I went with the parents where we had a presentation from one of the vice principals who over explained some things -- but underexplained others -- (If you're student is tardy 4 - 6 times he will get ECO but if it's more than 9 it will be ISS)

WTF?

Can't you just say "detention" and "In school suspension" --

insane

So -- here's what I've learned

Same: Assistant Principals -- bad jokes -- sort of a jerk
Different: Parents are intensely involved in their kids -- or completely negligent -- not quite sure where I'll fall in -- somewhere between I guess

Same: Kids haven't changed -- some are cool -- some are assholes
Different: Dress Codes, Cell phones, coffee bars, restaurants in school, no lockers, each students gets a computer, no books to carry back and forth (just some books to keep at home), grades posted online, no letter grades, security precautions to enter the school, strict attendance policies, way more homework, etc etc etc

I am out of my league

and not in the way I thought I would be.

So far I can do the home stuff -- feed, water, care for the student -- give her love and support

but I feel sort of bad sending her off to their space-station they call a highschool when my reference for all of this seems like a 1967 Chevy.

I guess Miss M's not the only one shell shocked.

Registration and a mostly fruitless search

I have to say that our school counselor is the best -- sweet -- patient -- kind -- and seems to really understand that we have NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING

Miss M and I got out of the house eventually -- I'm not quite sure what goes on in that bathroom -- but it involves going in and out of the room several times and running the bathtub at least twice --

and none of this involves washing hair

She is very clean -- I'm not complaining!

I finally said -- we're leaving in 15 minutes -- eat some breakfast and she started moving in light speed.

Finally out the door -- about 1/2 an hour later than I hoped we headed to the school for registration. In spite of taking to 100's of parents in the past few weeks they remembered us and helped us to fill out all the forms and gave us a class schedule

Miss M got all her classes! -- Although I know she was hoping for some sort of remedial math class instead of Algebra II -- and she spoke very clearly when she said "May I take Chemistry" when he offered her Physics

Good Girl

I hated physics too.

And shoot -- I can't count on Curt to come help with homework nightly!

She's also taking Dance, Art and Spanish

This should be a fun year

We headed next to the bank and were helped by a very nice man who explained all the options (which aren't very many for a minor)

We shopped for a phone -- but Miss M wanted to check with a friend to see what sort of phone she got -- We'll go back in a day or two to take care of the phone issue

Then -- we had to tackle the shorts issue

Miss M's shorts are Waaaay too short

Waaay

I mean

damn.

So we called my friend Amy at lunch (my fashion consultant) who told me we should go to the Gap and Old Navy

off to the Town Square Mall

It's great to be with someone who wants to take a picture of everything -- it's all a huge adventure

too bad it's 102 degrees outside -- OK I'm sure I exaggerate -- but it's really really hot

At least 97

It hits you like a hot wet blanket whacking you in the face everytime you get out of the car.

You would think you could buy a pair of shorts here in August

Fall Clothes

seriously?

Fall?

It's AUGUST

and we live on the surface of the sun.

We finally got one pair of shorts that she can wear to school and a very cute pair of jeans --

BTW -- my impression that Miss M would never express a personal opinion was completely flawed

She is MOST DEFINITE when she doesn't like something -- I showed her a pair of dark green cargo shorts and was told she didn't like them -- very clearly

picky

(OMG -- It's 15!)

She's a 00 to a 0 --and we had a little spat because she tried on some jeans that were 00 and she said they were too small -- so I got a pair of 0's to try on -- she came out -- they were cute -- and we took them up to the counter

When we got there I saw that she picked up the 00's

So we had our first -- "Yes they are the ones", "No, they're not the ones" argument

I made her go try them on again

She ended up with the 00's

I'm proud that I gave her our first eye-rolling moment

Mission accomplished -- just like a real MOM!!

Tour of the school tonight at 6 -- 1 hour from now -- I guess I better give her the 1 hour warning!

Orientation

We went to the orientation tonight and met about 8 students and their families.

It was fun
interesting
weird
and very very comforting

Things other people have in common with me

At least 1/2 of them are first timers
3 were also single
Most were my age
Several of them live very close

I think I've been thinking about this day as an opportunity for Miss M to build her community -- but I'm an idiot

I didn't think about building my own community!

When we got there I felt for her
She seemed awkward
She struggled to find a way to break into conversation

Which could have been a description of me.

Shit -- am I ever going to stop struggling with my social shyness?

There were some awkward false starts -- but thanks to a silly mixer game -- we all got the chance to talk to each other (clever coordinators!)

We bonded over foul burgers and dogs and insufficient side dishes.

I found myself feeling grateful that I didn't get that German kid that seems already bored with the universe -- but charmed by several of the students and most of the parents.

We'll be seeing a lot of each other -- monthly outings with the kids -- and I think Miss M's made a friend with a girl who lives nearby

Hell -- I might even be able to still have a social life -- there's a chance of some sleepovers

Woot!

I'm home now -- tired -- but upbeat as I look out over the coming months --

Tomorrow -- the school......

Day 1 - the great adventure begins

Yesterday Miss M feel asleep shortly after lunch

Exhausted.

I decided that the best plan was to let her sleep for 5 hours or so -- make her wake up and eat/go to the bathroom and stay up for a few hours and then go back to bed

I tried to wake her up at about 5pm

I knocked on the door

Nothing

So I went in and said her name

again -- no reaction

I touched her arm

nada

I shook her a big

Not a chance

I left her in there for another hour or so before I tried again

She finally woke up and looked at me with disbelief that I would wake her

I made her a deal -- she needed to eat then she could go back to bed.

She force-fed herself some chicken -- I think because I offered to let her sleep if she ate

I offered a movie after dinner -- she said "no"

we settled on -- stay awake long enough to unpack and then you can go to bed.

She ended up sleeping about 15 hours of her first 24 hours -- seems to have done the trick.

She learned a new word in English -- Jetlag.

Today we have orientation for the students -- it's a pool party and exchange student orientation -- I imagine it's a combination of "don't-break-the-rules-or-you'll-go-back-home" and "don't-let-your-host-parents-touch-you"

We'll see.

We made brownies together and went to Target -- I gave her a gift card to use for her school supplies -- she doesn't understand how credit cards or gift cards work -- another challenge

She has presented me with a number of lovely gifts -- and is wonderful about helping with the dishes.


We had a fun moment this morning when she asked how to make the water come out of the shower head.

I think this blog will be filled with the little moments

There was a part of me that really didn't believe that she would come to live here -- that wondered if it would happen even as I was waiting at the airport.

And it's just wonderful

everyone should do this

at least once

NOT an American girl

Miss M arrived today -- I had a moment of panic at the airport. There was a huge mission group coming home from Peru and their welcoming team kept getting in front of me and I was worried that Miss M would not see my sign.

I kept fighting to get to the front

the missionaries and the other passengers came through

but not Miss M

I must have looked sad with my orange sign

'maybe she stopped in the bathroom?'
'or fell asleep on the plane'

Finally -- from the other direction -- I see someone come my way -- I hold up my Orange welcome sign hopefully

She nods

Hooray!

She looks like she's about to drop -- poor thing

We find her bags and make our way home through awful traffic

She admits she has not eaten since Los Angeles -- but wants to eat at home instead of on the road.

Los Angeles -- let's see -- that's at least 15 hours ago

She perked up at the idea of a ham sandwich when we got in and ate twice as much as I thought

But she's definitely NOT an American kid -- she broke a tiny piece of the chips and tasted it -- this was what was left of her lunch:



We're on a great adventure!

Pleased

I'm really very very pleased with our progress in putting together Miss M's room

It's totallly adorable -- hopefully the pink won't gag her too much.