I have to admit -- I'm inspired by some of the treats that Jenn finds on Yahoo Personals -- I've become addicted to missed connections on Craigslist -- here's my favorites from last week.
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The largest chest I've ever seen! No joke - m4w - 20 ( vista ridge lewisville)
You had the largest breasts I've ever seen. So large I was left speechless. Let me know what department store you entered in because that's where I saw your gorgeous self. around 1020
so touching -- I love that he assures her it's "no joke"!
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Hot wife's friend - m4w - 42 (Park Cities)
Can you feel the sexual tension. Love my wife but want to fuck you so bad. You made a comment yesterday about a guy not getting any pussy.
Yeah -- that's not going to blow up in your face -- smooth move
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SA - m4w (I wish )
Your his, not mine, but i wish he did turn into an idiot so i could steal you
Followed by someone's response
RE: SA - m4w - (I wish )
What's your initials and do I know you? Not sure if this was meant for me or not....
And then his sad response
SA - m4w (I wish)
it does not matter i am only posting to feel better
-- very sad
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lemom/inwood - m4w - 35 (mid cities)
returned a few items and noticed your huge breast, would like to start a conversaton with you, are you married?
You have to love a man who craves a woman with one huge breast -- takes all kinds
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Pregnant Woman in Denton Walmart - m4w - 40 (Denton Walmart)
You were a very natural and beautiful brunette at the Denton Walmart. You were wearing a long black (cotton/comfy) dress with yellow and white prints on it. This was on Monday around 5-6 pm. You were paying and I was behind you in line. No, i'm not looking to hook up with you (well, unless you just wanted to. LOL) You appeared to be married (ring) and very pregnant. I just wanted to tell you that you were glowing. You were very sexy. You had sex appeal flowing from every part of you. That's all. Just giving a compliment where a compliment is due. Good luck with your pregnancy. You ARE very sexy.
"Well unless you just wanted to..." wow - not creepy at all.
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I was Drumming in my car - m4w (Carrollton/Addison)
K I'm gonna try and kill a couple of birds with one stone. Because well I can't repost this over and over again for 3 different people. Addison: (beltline and marsh) You were in a red mercedes i think. You were the passenger and we locked eyes. I was in a green car. Carrollton (Marsh/Keller Springs): One of you were in a red car. Carrollton (Trinity Mills/ Old Denton/ Whitlock): You had a white truck and we drove down OR if you've just seen me around the metroplex drumming and/or you just wanted to talk to me you're more than welcome to write me :) Due to my job I get around a lot. Anywhere from Collin County to Denton to Dallas and Tarrant County cities. That is the only picture I have of me drumming in my car. I've attached others incase you recognize me.
OMG --how lazy can you get
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one meat down - m4w - 28 (pg little caesars)
hey would like to talk. me and wife thing ur cute. u know who u are ONE MEAT DOWN get back at us
I'm racking my brain to try to figure out how the phrase "one meat down" worked into the conversation.
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Hot black car, hot black dress, Caren? - m4w - 40 (Allen)
Monday-June 15 You were waiting to get your oil changed and I was thinking the whole time that I would love for you to change mine. Very cute brunette MILF, with an amazing voice, laugh and lovely painted toes that were pointed my way. I'm sure you are married, but just wanted to know you that "it" moved
.....I'm not sure what's going to touch her heart more -- that he wants her to "change his oil" or that "'it' moved"
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Gorgeous Brunette at the Best Western - m4w (North Dallas)
I had just checked in today and was wondering around looking for my room. Of course I ended up going down the wrong corridor initially. As I was trying to find my way, I ended up walking behind you for a short time. And, you were absolutely gorgeous! You seemed to turn around slightly to see who was behind you as you walked into the ladies room. You were wearing a black dress and very sexy black heels. You just carried yourself with such class and self confidence. Assuming you see this and are interested, I would love to talk to you.
Dear creepy guy at the Best Western -- she was not turning around to check you out -- she realized that she was being followed and had visions of slasher movies in her head -- she was looking to see where the closest exit was......
Trying to work "one giant breast" into some sort of "cyclops" joke...
ReplyDeleteFailing miserably...
"Bet you can't eat just one!"
(Will edit as a better joke appears)