Getting into the Swing

Mark your calendar.

This is the first week when I feel like I really belong in the new job.

I finally have my arms around what I'm supposed to be doing and feel that I'm a normal amount behind instead of buried with no hope of ever seeing daylight again.

I'm sure this is a temporary feeling that will soon pass.

But I'm going to enjoy it until it does.

Bob

Bob the mouse -- who once adorably hopped across my carpet -- was found running out of a bag of chips this morning.

Hideous little creature.

you must die.

Thank you Amy....

....for pointing out that it's ok to pack dirty laundry for the sake of getting the packing done.

You're an awesome friend.

Pokey Gazelle

One of my FB friends posted this:

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”

How wrong is this that my thought is -- hmmm -- I don't have to be the FASTEST gazelle -- I just have to out-run the SLOWEST gazelle.

No -- I'm not reaching for the bottom rung -- not to worry -- I'm just a little worn out.

Project from Hell

Tuesday we received the Spanish translation of the new and improved Associate Handbook (which by the way took months and months of editing to create the English version)

We were asked on Tuesday morning to have the proof-reading of the Spanish translation done by Thursday morning.

It became immediately obvious that Thursday was NEVER going to happen.

I speak Spanish as a second language -- I'm good -- but I'm no native speaker. I found about 50 or 60 errors in the handbook -- including some where the bad translation actually changed the meaning of the section!

Today I called a meeting with the other proof-readers -- all native speakers.

2 hours in -- we had proofread about 15 pages -- with close to 200 corrections. We have about 20 more pages to go.

The mistakes we found from this "professional" translation were shocking. Spanish 101 errors, inconsistencies (translating the word "crafts" 3 different ways in different parts of the book)

Shocking

I can't believe that I decided I wasn't good enough to be a translator.

Apparently I could have gone into this business and raked it in.

Jacked up pay

Discovered today that Michaels paid me not once -- but twice last week.

Once at my old rate
Once at my new rate

The solution?
return the correct check
keep the incorrect check
Next week get paid the correct amount
plus the difference between the wrong amount and the right amount

flipping brilliant.

Great email

Got a facebook email today from someone I know sort of casually.

The message read:

Do you have any friends in their 40s that would go out with my friend Steve. If so his number is 214.493.xxxx.

I'm not sure who should be more insulted by this -- Steve or the women in their 40's!

ATTENTION! -- WOMEN IN YOUR 40's -- A MAN OF INDETERMINATE AGE, PROFESSION, TALENTS AND APPEARANCE IS AVAILABLE!!! -- HIGH ALERT!!!

Aparently -- I don't need to know anything about "steve" -- his availability alone should be enough.

and while I'm at it -- poor Steve -- having his 30-something friend pimp him out and offer up his phone number to any woman willing to blindly call him.

Poor Steve.